While I doubt there is anyone other than myself that checks out this blog (hell even I forget there are Facebook & Google+ pages associated with this) I shall say hello and, once again, explained my absence.
During the end of October I got some bad news that relates to my job and plans of carrying out a dream that I have had for so long, which was once again shattered, and this time for good. So my enthusiasm for completing the rest of the Halloween Countdown vanished as a result.
Following on from that was taking care of someone who had surgery in the beginning of November, which lead to two months looking after said person, rarely being home in the process. Not to mention that my health took a turn for the worse in December which lead me to be off work for the Xmas period. Even as I write this I had another hospital appointment earlier today.
Long story short (too late) I've had a lot on my plate, so my movie watching habits had no room for somewhat regular postings on this blog. As for the status of this blog, I've no idea at this point, but I would like to try and do something with it from time to time. Maybe a change in format and style which doesn't rely on extensive articles based around one film. As much fun as I have writing them, it's just a matter of finding the time that is the problem.
Nevertheless, I have one or two ideas to try out for my own amusement, and I do intend to finish the B-Movie Double Bills at some point. But whatever it may be.....I'm sure nobody will notice. But that's never been the one thing that stopped me to begin with.
Oh and Happy (belated) New Year!
And on a final note.....
Seems like an appropriate/obvious choice for this blog entry. Must listen to Break The Cycle again now that I think about it.
Before I jump back into the Hellraiser series with the next blog entry, in another effort to keep up with the daily posts I am posting up another short film via YouTube. During the week I picked up a free regional paper on the bus home and found an article which was about an Irish produced short film narrated and starring Orson Welles, during the long production process for his adaptation of Othello. The title of this short is officially Return To Glennascaul: A Short That Is Told In Dublin, but is also known as Orson Welles' Ghost Story.
As it's one of the rare few times that I write about anything from the early days of cinema, it's interesting to see what passes as a spooky tale back then. The music can be boisterous at times, as was the style in a lot of movies back then, which does become annoying, especially when it stops all of a sudden from time to time. As for the film itself it's an interesting gothic tale that is passable enough in terms of acting and cinematography. What does stand out is the vocal performance of Orson Welles, and the set up to the story, which is an example of art imitating life where it shows him during the filming of Othello, and onto greeting the viewers off camera. Worth a look if your knowledge of Orson Welles is only limited to watching Citizen Kane, Transformers: The Movie and The Muppet Movie.....in otherwords, me.
And on a final note.....
Thanks to focusing on the Hellraiser series, not to mention life in general, it means that I won't be able to watch the SAW films during the month. Although I'm starting to see Hellraiser's influence on the SAW films, in terms of visceral torture, so I can't complain too much. I was only reminded of SAW when I saw this yesterday. Made me laugh anyway.
I'm really pushed for time as I realise that it's almost coming to the end of October. I've four more Hellraiser flicks to get through, not to mention my ideas for articles change by the day. I was supposed to write about The Watermen, a terrible horror flick that starts Jason Mewes (of all people). But that was a week ago, and my memory of it is already little to recall. So what do I do in this situation before I get back to the Hellraiser series? Just resort to boobies, that always works.....ahem. And so the choice of film to write about: Evil Breed: The Legend Of Sam Hain.
Starring adult actresses from the late 90s/early 00s that I recognise thanks to lads magazines and the introduction to the internet, I'll admit the casting of Jenna Jameson and Chasey Lain was enough for me to check it out, no matter how bad the movie is. Besides, there is a chance of nudity that would make it worthwhile.....but then again so did the other Jenna Jameson horror flick Zombie Strippers.....
OH YES, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS.
78 minutes later.....
Okay I am no stranger to misleading cover art, as any of my previous articles would show. But it still amazes me as to how cunning these production companies can market their film to look like it will be something that it's not. Now judging by the cover shown above. Granted if it wasn't for the mention of Richard Grieco, this could be seen as the cover for an adult flick, even a softcore one. So the next logical step is to think that this would be a cheap ass horror flick with some T&A. Well not quite.
It was about two thirds into the movie that I realised what contribution the cover star Jenna Jameson made to this film: one scene where she's walking through the woods, and the other when she is hacked to pieces. I didn't count the exact amount of time she was onscreen, but if I was to guess, it would be about three minutes. Hell, even the contribution of Chasey Lain didn't last that long, which would be understandable as it was nothing more than a cameo.....and a great cameo it was.
Not an image from the film, but who's complaining?
But that's essentially the extent to Jenna's participation. The rest of the film is a stupidly dull slasher flick that's supposedly set in Ireland, but judging by the accents of the cast, it was filmed in Canada. And apparently making the scenery look dull and drowsy gives it the impression that it's set in Ireland. Which is more convincing than the most woeful Oirish accents this side of Heroes: Season 2. And I don't know which is worse: legendary adult actress Ginger Lynn Allen putting on a fake Irish accent, or the fact that she doesn't even show any flesh in the movie, regardless of age.
Despite the brief appearances of these adult actresses, they still manage to put on better acting performances than the rest of the non-smut actors, even if it is a cheap horror film. Hell, even Richard Grieco's brief cameo was better than the rest of the actors carrying the movie. And whatever little nudity there is, they're still more interesting to watch than the scenes involving some monstrous figures that look like a cross between the Toxic Avenger and the goblins from Troll 2. Well, apart from the shower sex scene between two of the "teenagers", who are just as convincing as the so-called "teenagers" from Beverly Hills 90210.
Verdict?
Horrible dialogue, poorly executed horror tropes, a cast that makes pornstars look like Oscar winning thespians, not helped by the fact that the characters are boring themselves and the fact that they pronounce Samhain as Sam-Hain when even Halloween 3 managed to get it right all those years ago. This film is riddled with so many misfires that the only notable scene that doesn't involve bare breasts was the death scene in a bathroom. As for the ending.....I still don't know what the hell that was about.
Even the mock Halloween film the "teenagers" watch on TV was more interesting than the rest of the movie. At this moment in time, I'm almost convinced that this is actually worse than Zombie Strippers. There's only one way to find out.....aaannnddd I'm not gonna visit that film anytime soon.
And on a final note.....
My first introduction to Chasey Lain was not a visual one, but from the song by The Bloodhound Gang: The Ballad Of Chasey Lain. Still think the bleeped version is funnier than the explicit version.
While it may be a sort of cop-out to rely on Double Bills to boost up my declining blog posts this month, the reason I am going with the Hatchet movies are that I've never seen them before, and I'll be going to see the third one at Horrorthon this year. So I might as well check them out beforehand.
I am aware that it's already been released in the States and I'm sure I could have just ordered a copy and play it on a multi-region player, but I couldn't be bothered with the hassle. But it means I would have to miss The Human Race, which is on at the same time unfortunately.
HATCHET
My knowledge of this film was only limited to Kane Hodder (Jason in some of the Friday The 13h flicks) being the villain, and that it doesn't star Danielle Harris. But I did like the caption on the DVD case.
85 minutes later.....
While I figured there would be something to laugh about this gory film, I never expected to have so many comic elements. After so many stupid laughs I almost forgot that this was a slasher flick, especially as the main focus was the interaction of the characters/victims. Plus it helps that there were some familiar faces such as Candyman, Cordelia's friend in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and the drive-thru owner and Hitler from Chillerama (as usual I don't bother looking at the actors' names on IMDb).
As for the principle slasher character, Victor Crowley, I found him a pretty acceptable movie monster, complete with a decent backstory that's quickly explained but sufficient in time. The look of him is admittedly silly, but given the tone of the rest of the film, it's not surprising. Especially when you see him in action that even I found myself amazed by the sick ideas the director had for the killing scenes.
As for the actress who plays heroine Marybeth, I figured that this is the character Danielle Harris took over in the second film. I don't know what the reasons are for the recasting, whether it was due to availability or the four year gap between films. But the actress in this movie was quite good in the role, even though I can't help but think what it would have been like if Danielle Harris was cast in the first place.
Verdict?
A surprisingly entertaining horror flick where it went against my expectations but for the better. I'm surprised it has taken me so long to check this out. But again if I knew it was gonna this hilarious, it would have been part of my film collection a long time ago. Plus it makes me want to check out the second film straight away.
HATCHET 2
Knowledge beforehand? This was the one that stars Danielle Harris.
85 minutes later.....
Still debating whether the actress could have pulled off the second film, as Danielle Harris is now known as one of the leading scream queens nowadays and has the reputation to carry the film in a non-villain role. Not to mention carry the sense of humour needed to be part of these types of films that she's known for, as she showed during Horrorthon last year.
Continuing right after the events from the first film, this sequel however does turn down the comedic factor slightly, despite a few nods from the original, including the reappearance of Candyman. In saying that it still has its silly interactive moments between the next crowd of characters/victims, not to mention it manages to up the ante in terms of gore and dismemberment. Plus I can't help but laugh at the film's feeble attempt to throw in nudity via a camera used in the first film (which used Mardi Gras as an excuse to show flesh).
As for Victor Crowley, not only is his backstory added with the events leading to his birth, but manages to coincide with what is going on with the film, even its connections to the characters themselves. This makes for the character of Crowley to be a little more layered, even if he is just a killing machine onscreen. Granted the story is a little ridiculous, but that's to go with the tone of the series anyway.
Verdict?
Once you get used to the small change of pace comedy and character wise, this turns out to be a pretty decent sequel that manages to deliver in terms of hilarity and gruesome scenes not for the squeamish. If the series was to end here, it would have been a fitting end to the series of films, even though I wouldn't say no to another sequel. Just as well I have the third film to look forward to over the next couple of days.
Double Bill Verdict?
Other than the obvious answer that the films are linked, but it's the way that they finish so abruptly, with the second one picking up from where the first film left off, which does make for a handy transition for the recasting of Marybeth. Just as well I had the second one ready to watch, even though my copy seems to have a hidden scratch so with some fiddling around with the rewind button, I only missed two minutes of the film, which seems to be a dialogue scene where I picked up on the end of the conversation, so it's not a total loss of film enjoyment. That said, I am now looking forward to watching the third film next week. And of course, to seeing Danielle Harris onscreen again.
And on a final note.....
Coincidentally the opening credits of the second film contains the Ministry track: Just One Fix.
First off, I know this is not a horror film. Secondly, as this is just released in the cinemas, I will make the effort not to go into spoiler territory. But given my predicament to keep with with these blog posts in a single day, and that this film does fall into the categories of B-Movies, Grindhouse, violence, blood, guts, action, comedy, scantily clad women, and other crazy story elements and beyond, I'm gonna allow it. Besides, I talked about Resident Evil: Retribution last year when it was released, so might as well throw in another theatrically released flick this month: Machete Kills.
Verdict?
I found the film to be enjoyable at the start with some insane scenes and the introduction to many bizarre characters, but as the film went on it stalled for a bit and during the halfway part it changed pace and direction which at first viewing is a little offputting, and towards the end I wasn't sure what to make of it. Maybe it was to do with going into this film with high expectations, but when I think back to when I watched the first Machete, I felt the same way back then.
It suffers the same problems as the first film with being overly ambitious with having too many characters crammed in, along with story threads that at times became needlessly complicated. This makes for less screentime dedicated to them, and yet the film becoming overlong with too many elements to take in on first viewing. I watched it again two days before I went to see the sequel and found that I enjoyed it more on repeated viewings, albeit in a not so sober state of mind.
Still can't get used to her voice despite how hot she is.
My only major gripes with the film are the overuse of the "Machete don't....." joke, and the casting of Mel Gibson, who I've never warmed up to as an actor and a person, even before the controversies surrounding his private life and personality. But his cameo well outstayed its welcome and I just hope that if a sequel does get the greenlight he won't be involved. Which brings me to my second problem with the film. Not wanting to give anything away, but I really hope there will be a Machete Kills Again (as mentioned in the first film), otherwise it would be unsatisfactory if the series was to stop here.
Don't get me wrong the film does have entertaining characters and story twists that keep the excitement factor going throughout its runtime, and I'm sure that with the first film, it will get better with each viewing. Plus it is one of the more entertaining films I've seen this year. And I guess it's a good sign that I'm hoping for the next one to go into production. I just hope it won't take as long as the release of the second Sin City film.
And on a final note.....
I will give credit to the film for including my favourite film sound effect during the music to the opening credits, which made me laugh out loud in the cinema. I'm sure you can guess what it is.
